Home for a Rest

I have been home for just under 2 weeks. It now feels like I've never really left.
To be 100% honest, I have been loving home. It's been a whirlwind of friends and family with everything going on. Today has been my first full "nothing" day. You really just can't replace your friends and family eh?
I know that I did do some changing/growing while I was away, because I came home and realized my bedroom was too young and immature. I LOVED it before I left. Haha, I've been slowly changing it to suit my tastes now.

Auckland, New Zealand.
What do I even say about the 7 1/2 months I spent there. I'm still grasping at straws as to what I should write.
For some reason, it was pretty easy to get over the sadness. Maybe it's cause I was instantly busy and caught up with weddings and seeing all of my friends again, or maybe it's because I'm good at doing the whole "out of sight, out of mind" thing.
I feel myself not wanting to go back as desperatly as I thought I would. It just feels like a very long dream at this moment. I can't fathom the fact that I was there for so long, and also was lucky enough to visit Cook Islands, Australia and Indonesia.

I just.. can't write right now.
To Be Continued...

no comment

Miss you most.

See ya later Auckland

Last day. How am I feeling on my last day in New Zealand?
Lets see..
sad, upset, lost, excited, nervous, panicked, etc..
I've been crying on and off and said goodbye to my lovely flatties this morning. Packing is done, yet reality hasn't hit me yet.

Last night, they finally gave the sky tower some color. Pink and Purple. It was the last time I'll really see it at night (FOR NOW), and was so happy to see it lit up in all it's glory.

New Zealand, is the best thing that has ever happened to me. It really has a part of my heart. Since the saying goes "Home is where the heart is", well, it looks like I've got 2 homes now.

I actually can't believe that this day is actually here. That it's happening. Tonight I leave on a plane, then I'm back home. Wow..
I really wanted to type out a long message about my trip right now, but I think I'll wait till I'm home.. see how I feel knowing how far away I am from it all..

..

I have 1 full day in New Zealand left....
I know that it's not really "goodbye", it's more of a "see you later" sorta thing, but still.. I've decided to dedicate my life to building a teleporter.

I've been starting to cry at random times. This is pretty much the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm just not ready yet.

Change of Season

Tattoo. Finally.

Pumped and ready to go, but slightly terrified. However, it's peanuts compared to the monster on my back.

Making progress.

This was a happy moment. Lyall asked me to describe what it felt like. I replied with, "Like the needle was ripping through my skin and tattooing the bone." Pleasant, eh? Ribs, HURT.

It's very small and cute. I love it.

Like the dried blood on the C? Soo happy with it. And a giant thanks to my lovely flattie Renee that helped with the lettering.

New Zealand tattoo, accomplished.

xx

Reality and mild nausea set in.

I actually can't believe it's coming to an end. It's seems like just yesterday I arrived, terrified and not knowing what the next almost 8 months had in store for me.
This morning, the reality hit me. My departure date is in a week. A WEEK. The thought makes me sick to my stomach. I can't tell you where the past 7 months have gone. I am so thankful that I have written in my journal everyday. Documenting everything I did and all my thoughts. I'm sure it will be a tear fest when I read it when I'm home.

I was thinking yesterday what my favorite months have been. For some reason it was easy to pick Jan, Feb, March and May. I have reasons for why they are the best, and the others are not. If you wish to know, remember to ask when I see you all very soon.

I'm going to try and calm myself down/clear my head, so I'm off to go for a run along the water. It's warm and sunny today :)

ps. TATTOO TOMORROW.

2 homes.

No one would ever need to question my feelings towards Auckland. I make it very plain and clear, I Love Auckland.
I do really love Vancouver too, and I know now that my life is going to be 1 foot in Vancouver, 1 foot in Auckland.

Mercer released their 2010 Quality of Living survey, and it made me laugh that Van and Aucks got the exact same score. They tied for 4th overall in the world.
So maybe that's some insight as to why I've fallen in love with Aucks. It feels like home.

xx

Reliving memories

On my 3rd day in New Zealand, I climbed a volcano. It was called Rangitoto, and the hostel I was staying in offered a group climb. I made a blog entry about the climb, saying it was so hard and hot and I wore jeans to climb it. However, once you got to the top, it was incredible.
I've been wanting to climb it again for months. Everytime I try to go, my partner can't come, the weather is bad, or something just gets in the way. However, with the girls back, I was finally able to do it again. This time I wore athletic pants, instead of jeans. It was a much better choice.

We started the day with a rainbow. Good sign. I was excited to see how difficult it would be to climb again. Since being in Auckland, I've started running a lot and generally got myself into much better shape.

This was about halfway up. While it was no walk in the park, I definitely noticed that I wasn't struggling at all.

This is the big crater, right before the summit. Rangitoto is set to explode within the next 100 years. Since it's so close to the city, that will be a tragic day.

At the top! What a great feeling and what a view. I was so happy to accomplish it again, and have Kelsey and Kendra do it with me.

The terrain and path you follow is pretty rough. When you're going down, you're watching your feet and where you're stepping the entire. I rolled my ankle coming down. Thankfully it wasn't bad and didn't really start to hurt until the next day.

With the way the ferries run, you get 3 hours, or 6 hours to be on the volcano. We only did 3, but we had about 45 mins to kill before the ferry came, but everything around it is so gorgeous, so the wait was not a problem.

I love this place, so much.

Sugar Coma.

I finally got the girls back to Auckland. We decided to head back the Chocolate Boutique to get some mid afternoon dessert. It was delicious as usual. I'll certainly miss it when I'm back home.

Iced Chocolate :)

Heaven in food form. Iced chocolates, raspberry chocolate tart, pavlova. YUM

Raspberry chocolate tart. It was beyond delicious.

This picture just screams CUTE. I love it.

We tried so hard to finish it all. We failed. It was just way to much.

Pretty much dying at this point. I was bound and determined to finish the ice chocolate though, and I did :)

It was such a lovely day out in Parnell with my lovely ladies.

No no no, please no.

It's June. I leave in June.
Please please please don't make me leave.
I'm not ready yet!

je t'amie, kei te aroha au i a koe, i love you

I had a moment yesterday. I had just finished watching "Paris, Je t'amie" and the last story was about a woman travelling alone to Paris. Something she said just really hit me;

"Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I'd never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn't know what. Maybe it was something I'd forgotten or something I'd been missing all my life."

I opened our sliding window and there was a break in the weather. The sun was warm and the wind was blowing in. I just stood there staring at the city and I started to smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. The only thing running through my head was, "This is it. This is where I'm happy."

Tattoo Time

I have finally booked an appointment to get a tattoo in New Zealand! I have wanted to get one here since forever, so it's finally happening.

When I return home, I will have "Change of Season" across my left ribs.
Originally it was supposed to be my left foot, but after a lot of reading and stories and recommendations from artists, the area I wanted is basically the worst place to get tattooed. It fades 50% faster then the rest of your body, and usually doesn't last during healing.

So, why "Change of Season"? Well, I think the most obvious is that it's the name of this blog. It's one of my all time favorite songs (by Matthew Good Band). Coming to New Zealand has really been a change of season in my life. There have been numerous conversations where people will bring up that term in reference to me. Coming to New Zealand, the seasons literally changed. And last, it just feels right.

My friends Lyall and Renee will be accompaning me while I get it done, so I'm hoping they will snap a few pictures while I'm in extreme amounts of pain. (The ribs are probably one of the most painful places to get tattooed)
I'm excited!
xx

200.

Can someone pinch me?

I haven't really been away for 200 days have I?

I actually can't fathom this. 200 days.. It feels like less than half of that. It breaks my heart that I won't be able to make a "300." entry. I wish, I wish, I wish.

My emotions are going crazy right now. The excitment of seeing everyone again. The pain of leaving this place, my home. The heart break of saying goodbye to my NZ bff. I will miss him disgusting amounts.

I keep asking myself the same question over and over again. "How do I just leave?" I've created this life for myself, and I love it. My first time living on my own, being able to do basically whatever I want. How can I leave this behind. This hasn't really been travelling, it's been LIVING.

I really can't put my thoughts/emotions into writing properly. So, I leave you with this picture.

ZORB

I have been wanting to do the "ZORB" since I watched Justin from Departures do it. It looked like such a blast. The first time I went to Rotorua (in Nov) I was too sick to do it. So, I met Kels and Kendra in Rotorua for the day to do the ZORB a couple days ago. It was amazing.

In the distance. I was getting so pumped at this point.

This is my "I'm ready to ZORB" face apparantly.

There I go!

The track looks pretty short, but it felt like I was in there for ages. I was in there getting tossed around. They put water in the ball so you just slide everywhere. It was amazing. So soo sooo much fun.

As soon as you stop they rush up and take your picture. I had makeup all over my face. Nice.

I really didn't dress for the occasion. I didn't want to get my jeans wet (and you get absolutely soaked) so I went in my underwear haha. Plus my white tank and red bra underneath. Really, really wasn't thinking. OH WELL!

Easily one of the major highlights of my trip so far. I want to go back and do it again!!

A taste of Canada home

Here are just a few photos that I've taken since Kelsey and Kendra arrived. It was a lot of fun having them stay with me for a week, but now they are off travelling NZ. Unfortunately I couldn't join them cause I can't afford to, but oh well.

The first day, we went grocery shopping and carried our groceries back. The walk home takes about an hour and I swear we were each carrying like 40lbs. Not too fun.

We had a tea/tim tam slam party and watched a chick flight one night. It was fun to just relax, hang out and catch up.

We of course went out both nights of the weekend. I had to show them Auckland nightlife. Excellent nights.

Finally made it to the zoo! It was a beautiful and the elephant and lion exhibits were amazing, but the kiwi bird encounter was closed! I have yet to see a kiwi bird and I've been here for over 6 months!

We had a nice time in Parnell. Another little suburb in Auckland. We went to the chocolate boutique and got amazing desserts, then enjoyed a random swing set.

It was a good week :)

Update

So, the cardiologist appointment went well. It cost me $320 just to talk to him! Thank goodness that my insurance will cover that. So I need to send in my reciepts ASAP! There is nothing you can do about my dodgy valve, and he said my heart looked good besides that. So good news. Except that I have no money :( Seriously, it's going so fast.
Kelsey and Kendra arrived a week ago, and playing tourist gets really pricey. Thankfully I'm coming home soonish (even though I don't want to) so I can make some money again, then return to NZ to finish off my year. Yep, I'm going to do everything possible to get back here.
I've been having a lot of fun with Kelsey and Kendra. It's been so awesome having friends here, plus I've been seeing the touristy part of Auckland, which I haven't done yet, so it's been really cool.
I'm going to post some blog entries with pictures from what we've been doing this past week.
xx

Big ol' sigh.

So, a little while back, I was having chest pains, and my heart would race, etc. I told my neurologist about it, and he sent me off for some tests. They discovered 1 of my heart valves doesn't work properly, so blood can go in and out when it's not supposed to. That will cause pain and such. There pretty much is nothing you can do about this.

So now I've been getting chest pains again. I went running the other day, and about 5 mins in I got this awful "heart cramp" I thought I was going to faint. I went to the doctor today. At first he was worried I might of had a mild heart attack, so he sent me to get an ECG, which turned out normal. He listened to my heart and everything sounded normal apparantly. He was still worried, so now, in 3 days I'm going to see a cardiologist to apparantly do the treadmill test. So great, I get to run on a treadmill attached to wires and see what my heart does.

I'm just so unhappy about this. I thought I was done with all this medical stuff. Plus, it's going to cost me a whopping $600! for all of it. BIG SIGH. I can't afford it. But, as I was scolded today, "It's your health, money doesn't matter!"

Stay tuned for results.

UPDATE
Melissa called the insurance company, cause apparantly any tests I might need to have done at the Cardiologist aren't covered. So this $400 Treadmill test, I would have to completely pay for. Because I went and saw a doctor regarding my heart, that is it. Anything else to do with my heart is now an on-going issue, and I should just come home to Canada to deal with it. So, worst case senarior, I have a heart attack. That ISN'T covered, because of 1 little doctors visit.
SWEET. So now I can't get the treadmill test, cause I straight up can't afford it.

Peace

I realize that I find extreme peace when I pause for a minute and stand out on my balcony and look at an amazing Auckland sunset.

You gotta enjoy the little things.

Stunning.

too much too much

Today is just blah.

I looked at my bank account and cried. I haven't had this little money in like, 2 years. I feel like a total FAILURE for not being able to find a job. I've tried so hard, but no one is interested. I'm at a total loss for what I should do.
My friends wedding is going to cost me a lot of money, money I don't have. It's all too much too soon after I'm home. Literally 3 days after I'm home. I can't afford it, I don't know what to do...
Actually I know what I'm going to do.. curl up in bed and pretend I can make it all go away.

I'm so happy here, but I'm letting this money issue get the best of me. sigh.

It's Cookie Time... It's Always Cookie Time

My weakness, my "Achilles Heel" so to speak. I've pretty much become addicted to them. They really are the best cookies I have ever had. Triple chocolate warmed up. Yep, drool.

Lifes little moments/lessons

I've learnt a lot of things while I've been here. Most of them being about myself, but I thought I'd share a few.

1. Flatting with a bunch of girls is so great. Showing off new clothes/shoes is actually a bunch of fun. We all get along, have never fought, and somehow have a great balance within the house.
2. Flatting is expensive! I was so ignorant to the cost of living before. I've definitely learnt that lesson.
3. Living off money with no income is stressful. I'm so thankful that I had saved enough, so else I'd be in a bit of trouble.
4. Being a foreigner trying to find a job when even Kiwis are having issues trying to get work is a bad bad thing.
5. I'm a lot more independent and confident on my own then I ever thought I was.
6. Travelling is quite possibly the best thing ever.
7. Saying good-bye to the people you meet on your little journeys doesn't get easier the more you do it.
8. Boys can actually be amazing, treat you well, make you happy and laugh all the time.. in other words, not all boys are jerks.
9. (in reference to #8) Kiwi boys are far superiour to Canadian boys.
10. I'm not the only one who loves Anime, Disney movies, ice cream cones with a scoop of mint chocolate chip and cookies and cream (best combination ever), and wishes they were fluent in Japanese.
11. I really enjoy grocery shopping. Finding things that are on special, reading the ingrediants, comparing sizes to prices. With that said, bringing groceries home on the bus is awful.
12. Motorcycle rides are the best. Especially ones that include riding while the sun is setting. So lovely.


I love spending mornings lying on this beach. Auckland decided to have amazing weather last weekend, and I took full advantage of it. Unfortunately I think the nice weather days are going to be few and far between now. Winter is fast approaching, and the days are getting colder and shorter.

I love it when the Sky Tower is blue. It's been blue for the past little while, and seeing it all lit up when I go for my runs/walks at night just makes them so much better. It was previously purple and green, which looked nice, but blue is best :)


Who would have though that I would actually enjoy cooking? At first, I couldn't stand having to cook myself meals. It was a lot of salads and basics. However, now I've come to actually like it. It can be very relaxing. I wonder if I will keep continuing to cook when I'm back in Canada.. hmm.. probably not.

I know that I mentioned this in a previous blog ages ago, but really, this is what I look at while I'm waiting for the bus. I really live in such an amazing location. 5 mins walk to the sea wall, surrounded by the ocean and beaches, walking distance into the city. I still don't get how I got so lucky.

I don't think I will ever get tired of seeing the Sky Tower. I see it everyday, and everyday it makes me so happy. It's best when I'm out in town at night. I love being so close to it and seeing it all lit up. It just, really feels like home.

I always knew that my desire to go to New Zealand really ment something. Sure, I've been stressed about money, finding work, etc. But come on, my life has been incredible. I'm so happy here, it's actually ridiculous. Home sickness has melted away. I'm trying so hard not to dwell on the amount of time I have left, cause it actually make me sick to my stomach to think about it. I wish so much that I could be here till November. I don't think I can say it enough...

I love New Zealand, I love Auckland, I love my life.