No no no, please no.

It's June. I leave in June.
Please please please don't make me leave.
I'm not ready yet!

je t'amie, kei te aroha au i a koe, i love you

I had a moment yesterday. I had just finished watching "Paris, Je t'amie" and the last story was about a woman travelling alone to Paris. Something she said just really hit me;

"Sitting there, alone in a foreign country, far from my job and everyone I know, a feeling came over me. It was like remembering something I'd never known before or had always been waiting for, but I didn't know what. Maybe it was something I'd forgotten or something I'd been missing all my life."

I opened our sliding window and there was a break in the weather. The sun was warm and the wind was blowing in. I just stood there staring at the city and I started to smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. The only thing running through my head was, "This is it. This is where I'm happy."

Tattoo Time

I have finally booked an appointment to get a tattoo in New Zealand! I have wanted to get one here since forever, so it's finally happening.

When I return home, I will have "Change of Season" across my left ribs.
Originally it was supposed to be my left foot, but after a lot of reading and stories and recommendations from artists, the area I wanted is basically the worst place to get tattooed. It fades 50% faster then the rest of your body, and usually doesn't last during healing.

So, why "Change of Season"? Well, I think the most obvious is that it's the name of this blog. It's one of my all time favorite songs (by Matthew Good Band). Coming to New Zealand has really been a change of season in my life. There have been numerous conversations where people will bring up that term in reference to me. Coming to New Zealand, the seasons literally changed. And last, it just feels right.

My friends Lyall and Renee will be accompaning me while I get it done, so I'm hoping they will snap a few pictures while I'm in extreme amounts of pain. (The ribs are probably one of the most painful places to get tattooed)
I'm excited!
xx

200.

Can someone pinch me?

I haven't really been away for 200 days have I?

I actually can't fathom this. 200 days.. It feels like less than half of that. It breaks my heart that I won't be able to make a "300." entry. I wish, I wish, I wish.

My emotions are going crazy right now. The excitment of seeing everyone again. The pain of leaving this place, my home. The heart break of saying goodbye to my NZ bff. I will miss him disgusting amounts.

I keep asking myself the same question over and over again. "How do I just leave?" I've created this life for myself, and I love it. My first time living on my own, being able to do basically whatever I want. How can I leave this behind. This hasn't really been travelling, it's been LIVING.

I really can't put my thoughts/emotions into writing properly. So, I leave you with this picture.

ZORB

I have been wanting to do the "ZORB" since I watched Justin from Departures do it. It looked like such a blast. The first time I went to Rotorua (in Nov) I was too sick to do it. So, I met Kels and Kendra in Rotorua for the day to do the ZORB a couple days ago. It was amazing.

In the distance. I was getting so pumped at this point.

This is my "I'm ready to ZORB" face apparantly.

There I go!

The track looks pretty short, but it felt like I was in there for ages. I was in there getting tossed around. They put water in the ball so you just slide everywhere. It was amazing. So soo sooo much fun.

As soon as you stop they rush up and take your picture. I had makeup all over my face. Nice.

I really didn't dress for the occasion. I didn't want to get my jeans wet (and you get absolutely soaked) so I went in my underwear haha. Plus my white tank and red bra underneath. Really, really wasn't thinking. OH WELL!

Easily one of the major highlights of my trip so far. I want to go back and do it again!!

A taste of Canada home

Here are just a few photos that I've taken since Kelsey and Kendra arrived. It was a lot of fun having them stay with me for a week, but now they are off travelling NZ. Unfortunately I couldn't join them cause I can't afford to, but oh well.

The first day, we went grocery shopping and carried our groceries back. The walk home takes about an hour and I swear we were each carrying like 40lbs. Not too fun.

We had a tea/tim tam slam party and watched a chick flight one night. It was fun to just relax, hang out and catch up.

We of course went out both nights of the weekend. I had to show them Auckland nightlife. Excellent nights.

Finally made it to the zoo! It was a beautiful and the elephant and lion exhibits were amazing, but the kiwi bird encounter was closed! I have yet to see a kiwi bird and I've been here for over 6 months!

We had a nice time in Parnell. Another little suburb in Auckland. We went to the chocolate boutique and got amazing desserts, then enjoyed a random swing set.

It was a good week :)

Update

So, the cardiologist appointment went well. It cost me $320 just to talk to him! Thank goodness that my insurance will cover that. So I need to send in my reciepts ASAP! There is nothing you can do about my dodgy valve, and he said my heart looked good besides that. So good news. Except that I have no money :( Seriously, it's going so fast.
Kelsey and Kendra arrived a week ago, and playing tourist gets really pricey. Thankfully I'm coming home soonish (even though I don't want to) so I can make some money again, then return to NZ to finish off my year. Yep, I'm going to do everything possible to get back here.
I've been having a lot of fun with Kelsey and Kendra. It's been so awesome having friends here, plus I've been seeing the touristy part of Auckland, which I haven't done yet, so it's been really cool.
I'm going to post some blog entries with pictures from what we've been doing this past week.
xx

Big ol' sigh.

So, a little while back, I was having chest pains, and my heart would race, etc. I told my neurologist about it, and he sent me off for some tests. They discovered 1 of my heart valves doesn't work properly, so blood can go in and out when it's not supposed to. That will cause pain and such. There pretty much is nothing you can do about this.

So now I've been getting chest pains again. I went running the other day, and about 5 mins in I got this awful "heart cramp" I thought I was going to faint. I went to the doctor today. At first he was worried I might of had a mild heart attack, so he sent me to get an ECG, which turned out normal. He listened to my heart and everything sounded normal apparantly. He was still worried, so now, in 3 days I'm going to see a cardiologist to apparantly do the treadmill test. So great, I get to run on a treadmill attached to wires and see what my heart does.

I'm just so unhappy about this. I thought I was done with all this medical stuff. Plus, it's going to cost me a whopping $600! for all of it. BIG SIGH. I can't afford it. But, as I was scolded today, "It's your health, money doesn't matter!"

Stay tuned for results.

UPDATE
Melissa called the insurance company, cause apparantly any tests I might need to have done at the Cardiologist aren't covered. So this $400 Treadmill test, I would have to completely pay for. Because I went and saw a doctor regarding my heart, that is it. Anything else to do with my heart is now an on-going issue, and I should just come home to Canada to deal with it. So, worst case senarior, I have a heart attack. That ISN'T covered, because of 1 little doctors visit.
SWEET. So now I can't get the treadmill test, cause I straight up can't afford it.